Fantasy Baseball Analysis: How to Endear Yourself

Okay, this is just a little bit of narcissistic self applauding, but bear with me and maybe we'll catch some chuckles. In one of my fantasy leagues, we were encouraged to introduce ourselves on the message board. I -- being busy as I frequently am -- did not notice this request until the day before draft day (i.e. some two months after joining the league). Well, I enjoyed my biography so thoroughly, I thought I should post it here as an example for future managers to follow:

I have been told it's bad form to start anything with an apology, so instead I will accuse somebody else for my late-blooming introduction. I blame... Joe Morgan. Yeah, that sounds good.

Greetings, everyone! My name is Brad and my street name is B-Rad. I am currently pursuing my masters degree in Economics in the grand sausage city of Chicago. I was born in Indiana, raised in Florida, and thus root for two diametrically opposed teams: The Cubs of Chicago, and the Rays of Tampa Bay.

When I'm not pretending to study for my classes, I'm usually participating in one of my many and diverse hobbies: the crunching numbers, the loathing of rain, the spying of cats, the challenging of Joe Morgan via zeppelin-dropped leaflets to a battle of fist-to-cuffs, and the maintaining and shamelessly self-promotion of my blog, Cubs Stats:

I have participated in approximately 5 fantasy sports leagues, but have performed admirably, if not insidiously, in each of those few leagues. I'm an avid reader of Fangraphs, DRaysBay, and The Book Blog. I was also once visited in a dream by an Econocat, the cats that secretly operate the world economies, and he offered me a job. In a subsequent dream, I received an internship at the Federal Reserve, which is pretty prestigious, to say the least. I cannot confirm whether or not it was a cat that called me.

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