Dear Lou: Concerning Platoon Splits

A couple of days ago, I took some of my precious time to warn our friend, Lou Piniella, about left-handed reliever John Grabow. I present this nifty set of statistics:

GRABOW
Career xFIP vs. righties: 4.66 worse than average
Career xFIP vs. lefties: 3.32 way better than average

Career K/BB vs. righties: 3.32 way better than average
Career K/BB vs. lefties: 1.45 worse than average

...And kindly asked Lou to use Grabow according to his skills: a Lefty One Out Guy (or LOOGY). Simply put, Grabow does not pitch well against right handed batters.

The following game, Lou took my advice (oh, and of course Sweet Lou reads this blog -- don't even act otherwise!), bringing Grabow in to face one lefty and then hit the showers.

Unfortunately, he spurned my wisdom, perhaps in a fit of frustration caused by our piss-poor middle of the lineup, and brought Grabow in to face this:

Cabrera: Righty
Votto: Lefty
Phillips: Righty
Rolen: Righty

The results?

R, Cab.: single
L, Vot.: strikeout
R, Phi.: single
R, Rol.: walk

...In other words, it was a text book demonstration of Grabow's struggles. I will end this examination with the same exhortation with which I ended my last:

In summation: NO MAOR GRABOW FOR TO PITCH AGAINST WRITIES, PLSKTHXBAI!